always faithful

You were reaching through the storm

walking on the water

even when I could not see

in the middle of it all

when I thought You were a thousand miles away

not for a moment did You forsake me

not for a moment did You forsake me

after all You are constant

after all You are only good

after all You are sovereign

not for a moment will You forsake me

not for a moment will You forsake me

You were singing in the dark

whispering Your promise

even when I could not hear

I was held in Your arms

carried for a thousand miles to show

Not for a moment did You forsake me

Not for a Moment -- Meredith Andrews

Last Sunday, as I was wrapping up a wonderful week in Haiti (and trying desperately to pretend my time there wasn't so rapidly coming to a close), I tagged along with the fabulous Livesay crew for an amazing time of worship at the Meadows' home. We sang a few songs, and then we spent some time talking about God's faithfulness and how we've seen that play out in our lives. Everyone in the room has undeniably been through some "stuff," but it was so beautiful to hear the stories that were shared of how God has carried each of us through difficult circumstances and has brought so much good even out of the pain. It reminded me of something Beth McHoul had said earlier in the week, about how people who have suffered have a certain depth to them. I don't know that any of us would willingly choose to go through painful times, but yet, there is something to be said for the way God uses suffering to shape us, to strengthen us, to draw us closer to Him -- and, to help us empathize with and have compassion for others who are hurting. What an amazing thing to serve a God who not only sees all of our tears, but who also so faithfully brings beauty from ashes. We may not understand why things happen the way they do, why we must suffer, but it is so comforting to know that just as God heard the cries of the Israelites when they were enslaved to the Egyptians, so He sees and knows our pain, and He is with us. Though things are a bit of a blur from the time right after my mom died, I remember very clearly clinging to these verses and having a surreal sort of peace that, even though it felt like my world was falling apart, God was still in control:

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;

His mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,

"Therefore, I will hope in him."

Lamentations 3:22-24

I didn't know, and I don't know, why God chose to take my mom when He did. I wouldn't have chosen that, not in a million trillion years. But I do know and can say with confidence that He has shown Himself to be faithful time and time again in my life; how can I not then put my hope in Him?

Originally when I started this post, I was intending to write about how seventeen years ago today, I met my youngest sister. Her life is such a testimony of God's faithfulness; it is absolutely incredible to look back and see the many, many beautiful things He has brought out of her life -- this child, who was born with a life-threatening medical condition and then abandoned at birth and left to die at a Haitian hospital. The very fact that she lived more than a few days (let alone, nearly 18 years and counting) is a miracle of divine intervention, and that's just the very beginning of her story. Unfortunately, as much as I would love to keep writing about that now, I need to get in at least a little bit of studying tonight before I completely collapse in exhaustion from a crazy work day. But, if anyone is interested in knowing a little more about God used Lina's adoption to get our family involved in Haiti, here's a post from a few years ago.

Happy weekend :)

spring break 2013

Well, here I am again...on the heading-back-to-Texas end of an incredible week (well, 9 days) in Haiti. Seems like it's gotten harder and harder for me to leave Haiti over the past several years, and this time is no exception. There's just something about that country...those people...that I love so dearly--crazy traffic, psycho roosters, and constant dust notwithstanding. Ayiti se yon bel peyi e se la mwen vle pou m ye.

However, rather than thinking about how terribly non-thrilled I am to be back in the States (and, especially, to be hanging out at the Fort Lauderdale airport for the night), how about a quick recap of some favorite moments from this past week:

* Spending time at Notre Maison. I love, love, love those kids, and it was so good to get to see them again (and yes, especially my Christina). I was able to make the taptap trek over to the orphanage on five different days while I was there, and it was great getting to spend time with the kids and see how well they're doing. There is some sad news, though -- Mickey, one of the older boys who grew up at the orphanage, passed away last Monday. He had been sick for awhile. I saw him the Saturday before he died, and I'm so thankful to have been able to spend time talking with him that day. He will be very missed. Prayers would be greatly appreciated for Gertrude and for the staff and kids at the orphanage.

* Dinner with Melissa and Guepson, my favorite newlyweds :) These two make me happy; they're super cute together. He's an OB, she's a nurse-midwife. He's Haitian, she's lived in Haiti for ten years. They're both great, and I'm so very, very thankful for Melissa--for many reasons, not the least of which is the role she played in convincing me that I should go to nursing school after all :) I've learned a lot from this girl, and I'm going to miss seeing her in Haiti now that she and Guepson are moving to the States. Guess I'll just have to make some trips to Kansas now!

* House[er, apartment]sitting for my friends Ryan and Melissa while they were in the States. Such a blessing to get to use their apartment while they were away! And, even better, they got back to Haiti a few days before I left, so I also still got to spend time with them :) Pray for them and their ministry at the Heartline Guesthouse!

3 day-old baby Tamar

* Spending time at Heartline is always amazing :) I didn't get to be at any births this time (the only Heartline birth that happened while I was in Haiti was a very quick one, and I was over at the orphanage at the time), but I did get to help out at two family planning days (gave lots of injections of Depo-Provera!), child development day, and prenatal day. I always feel so privileged to get to be even a teensy part of the amazing work they're doing at Heartline. So grateful for the impact they're making on the lives of women and children in Haiti.

* Trying out a Haitian restaurant with Nick, the current driver at the Heartline Guesthouse. The guesthouse was surprisingly guest-free most of the week, so one evening we decided to be a bit adventurous and taptap to a nearby restaurant that had been recommended by a few friends. I can't remember the last time I've been to a restaurant in Haiti besides Epi d'Or, so it was fun to try something new.

* Girls night with Melissa and Mandi! Melissa made some fabulous pizza, and it was fun to hang out with these two :)

* Dinner with the wonderful Meadows family! So great to spend time with these Texas-and-now-Haiti friends! Such a neat family, and I'm pretty sure they have the politest kids on this earth :)

* St. Patrick's Day party (on Friday) at John and Beth's house! When Beth cooks, you want to be there; among her many, many other talents, she is amazing at putting together incredible meals and for massive amounts of people. She is the epitome of graciousness and hospitality.

* Seeing the new Haitian Creations shop...and, of course, making some purchases :) Chandler and the ladies are doing such a great job coming up with some fabulous purses and jewelry and various other products (one of my new favorites is a passport holder, which I used today)! It's always a bit dangerous for my bank account when I go by Haitian Creations; so much great stuff, and for such an incredible cause. Yet another Heartline program that is truly changing lives.

* Home church with the Meadows and the Livesays this morning. I love and admire both of these families so much, and I'm so glad I was able to join them for this time of worship and reflection on God's faithfulness. It was such a special time of talking about how the Lord has been faithful to us in the past (and how we need to remember that we can trust that He will continue to be faithful!) and of praying together. I can't think of a better way to have spent my last morning in Haiti.

I know I'm forgetting a lot of other fabulous moments from the past nine days (I've been up for nearly 24 hours now; I barely remember how to spell my name), but suffice it to say, I really enjoyed my time in Haiti. And, of course, I'm already counting down to my next trip...48 days, if I can get the time off work!

A la pwochen, Ayiti. Mwen sonje w!