Waiting

“Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” (Psalm 27:14)

I have to confess—this concept of “waiting for the Lord” is incredibly difficult for me, for at least two reasons. First, I am a dreamer; I have an incredibly active imagination that has led to many a grand plan being formed in my mind. All of these plans, of course, sound fabulous to me—though usually their implementation is a little fuzzier—and I have a terrible habit of forgetting to seriously pray about whatever it is and wait for God to give me guidance as to how (or even if) I should proceed.

Second, and probably more significant, is that I am in a hurry to do something, to make something of my life and to feel like I’m accomplishing something for God. First problem is that that is incredibly selfish; my sinful self wants assurance from people that I matter, when I really ought to be looking to God, in whom my worth is truly found, and then just living my life in obedience to Him whether or not it seems like I’m “accomplishing something.” I feel like I should have a plan, know why I’m doing what I’m doing right now and what I’ll do next. I ought to know where I’m headed so that I can be preparing for it now; otherwise, surely I am wasting valuable time.

However. This whole sense of being in a hurry and making my own plans is not consistent with the Bible. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Be still. How often does that happen in my life, when I just step back from the craziness of life and just rest in the assurance that God is in control? I must admit, not very often.

Furthermore, by failing to completely rely on God and wait on both His plan and His timing, I begin to believe the lie that God doesn’t have my best interests in mind; if He did, wouldn’t He be putting my plans into action? (Obviously, it is a very good thing that He doesn’t go by my faulty plans, good though they may seem to me at the time.) I don’t ever verbalize this—not even to myself—but thinking about it now, it seems clear that this is all-too-frequently the mindset that I have. But again, this is so wrong. According to Psalm 25:10, “All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep His covenant and His testimonies.” Also, the verse that precedes the verse at the beginning of this post is an exclamation made by the psalmist, testifying to his certain hope that God had good things in store for him: “I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!” Although God is not necessarily concerned about my happiness level, per se, He does have a perfect plan for my future—for each day of my life—and whether it seems “good” to me or not, if I am in a right relationship with Him—focusing on His Truth and seeking to know, love, and serve Him with all of my heart, mind, and soul—I will be able to see His goodness. And what, ultimately, could possibly be better than seeing the goodness of the One who is my Creator and Savior?

So, this is my note to myself, a reminder of where my focus should be and of what truly matters in life. I don’t really care if anyone reads this or responds; mostly, I just needed to put these thoughts into words as a tangible reminder for the times when I am impatiently “awaiting my future” or trying to make things work out according to my plans. May God by His grace enable me to abandon my selfish desires and seek only to follow Him, every day of my life.