Meet Qing Qing

Qing Qing's hosting profile -- hers was one of about 10 that I
received of kids who were still in need of host families when
I started thinking & praying about hosting in late March 2016.

This is a bit overdue, considering I'm already about a month and a half (give or take) into the adoption process, but for those of you who didn't have an opportunity to meet Qing Qing when she stayed with us this summer, I thought I would give a little introduction (though if you've followed my posts on social media over the last few months, you've already gotten to see a glimpse of how amazing and sweet she is)!

Qing Qing just turned 11 at the beginning of this month, and she loves coloring, reading books, Disney princesses, playing in the pool, dancing, popsicles and Goldfish crackers, and folding laundry (yes, really)! She also is an excellent car napper -- she usually fell asleep in the car within 10 minutes while she was here, no matter where we were going! Like Christina, Qing Qing is very good at "going with the flow" -- although so much of the three weeks she spent in the US was brand new to her, she pretty much took everything in stride, even the insane July Texas heat! She also is very smart & quick to catch on to things, even in a new culture and a new language! She loves to be a helper & was my little sidekick for everything from cooking meals & making beds to helping Christina with her shoes & putting groceries in the shopping cart. And best of all, she and Christina became fast friends; the bond that developed between the two of them even in such a short time was absolutely beautiful to see. I am so excited to see this relationship grow even more once they're officially SISTERS!

Medically speaking, Qing Qing has Down syndrome and also had surgery when she was seven to repair a hole in her heart. Currently, she is very healthy and isn't under any medical restrictions, though we'll follow up with a cardiologist when she comes back to the US to make sure her heart is still doing well! She is somewhat delayed developmentally, but as I already mentioned, I was very impressed while she was here at how quickly she caught on to things and her overall independence in doing tasks and "ADLs" (activities of daily living). 

Currently, it's looking like the adoption process will likely be complete sometime between the end of

next spring and maybe the middle of summer, if all goes well. I'm nearing the end of the first big stage of the process -- compiling everything for my dossier -- and after that my dossier will go to China for the CCCWA (China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption) to process and decide whether or not they will officially approve me to adopt Qing Qing (I received "soft" approval at the beginning of August). So for now, it's lots of prayers, paperwork, fundraising, and more prayers & paperwork! :) I'm so grateful for all of the many people who have supported me time and time again through prayers, participating in fundraisers, and sending a note (or text or email) of encouragement along the way -- I could not do this alone! I wish there was a stronger way to say "thank you," but since that's the best I can do, how about I also throw in the Kreyol and Mandarin: Mesi & 谢谢 (Xièxiè)!!!

Hi friends! I know it's been forever & a day since I've updated this blog, but...I do still exist, as a matter of fact. And, I have some exciting news (which I will attempt to share in more detail at some later point in time when I'm not coming off a night shift, which is currently the case). The quick version is, I'm in the early stages of finally making Christina officially part of my forever family through adoption (yay!!), and I just launched a T-shirt fundraiser to help with the financial side of this endeavor. Tiffany McLeod came up with an awesome design that I'm SO excited to share, and I can't wait to have it on my very own T-shirt! Here it is:

The design will be available on a navy shirt and a purple shirt, and there are several styles available to choose from. Here are the links: navy and purple. The shirts will be available to purchase for the next three weeks, and then they will be shipped out approximately two weeks after the fundraiser closes. I've said this many times before and I'll say it many times again, but I am SO GRATEFUL for the huge amount of support Christina & I have from family, friends, coworkers, and even people I haven't seen in quite awhile. So whether or not you buy a shirt (though I hope you do 😊), please know how much your prayers & encouragement mean to me and Christina! Love y'all lots!

UPDATE: Here I Am Orphan Ministries has graciously offered to accept fee-free, tax-deductible donations on our behalf! So, if a T-shirt isn't really your thing but you still would like to financially support us, you can do that here. Under "One Time Donation," choose "Adoption Assistance." Before you submit your payment, there will be a comment box where you can put in my name and "Christina's adoption" to designate it for us.

Also, for those of you who want to hear the very very beginning of our story, here's a post I wrote back in 2010...

And then, to fast forward to Easter 2016...

Things have changed a bit in the last six years. 😊 And I am oh so grateful!

instagram-style life update

Oh hey there, Poor Little Neglected Ol' Blog O'Mine. It's been...awhile.

Life. 'Tis a busy thing.

I'm not utterly convinced that I want to keep up restart this whole blogging deal, but for the moment, while I'm procrastinating doing other, more productive things, how about a bit of an update from where we last left off? Fortunately, despite the amount of time that has lapsed since I last posted, a good chunk of that time was insanely busy beyond words and is therefore too much of a blur to remember many details, so for once I can probably summarize the last ten-ish months without rambling on forever.

October

finished 4th semester clinicals

Started a second job, because, I mean, one job + nursing
school just isn't enough

December

Survived the semester and watched my brother graduate
from nursing school {on a freezing cold day on which we
also got locked out of Hannah's car and therefore took
this oh-so-flattering selfie as we waited in Paul's car
for AAA to show up).

Roadtripped to Tennessee and got to spend a few days
with Hannah's wonderful family.

While in Nashville, I also got to see this dear friend for
the first time in years!

Then we trekked across the state to hang out with our
family in a lovely cabin in the Smokies...AND...these
two fabulous people got engaged (in the same spot
where my parents got engaged, which also happens
to be one of my favorite places in the world).
CONGRATULATIONS, PAUL AND HANNAH!!!

On Christmas Eve, Cheyenne and I traveled to Haiti,
where we were greeted by my favorite little girl.

Christina was able to spend several weeks with me at
the maternity center, which was wonderful.

January

And then...back to Texas...
for a super cold and crazy-busy semester...

...that consisted of a lot of coffee and a lot of studying
in between class, clinicals, and jobs.

Every once in a wonderful while I had time for
a post-close Fuego run. I mean, who doesn't
love eating tacos at midnight? :)

February

One of the highlights of my spring was getting to go
to Dallas with these lovely ladies for Taylor's baptism!

March/April

My handsome nephew was born at the end of March!
CONGRATULATIONS, KEVIN AND DANIELLE!!!

Paul and I got to travel to Florida for several days
to meet Emery when he was two weeks old.

May

At the beginning of May, I interviewed for (and got!) my
#1 {local} choice of jobs :)
And then...the moment we were afraid would never come...
THE LAST DAY OF NURSING SCHOOL!!

Oh hey, we're both nurses!

Aaaand I had time to breathe again (well, a little...boards
were still to come)!

Made a quick trip to Boston to visit a friend.

 June

Spent the weekend before taking boards holed up in a hotel
room in Dallas. I did surface for church on Sunday and for
a quick but wonderful visit with Taylor & Shelby!

Grateful, grateful, grateful for all of the prayers and words
of encouragement from so many friends before NCLEX.
I am so blessed to have so many amazing and
thoughtful people in my life.

And then...then I got caught in a sudden
downpour as I went to take the biggest,
scariest exam of my life. Consequently,
I took boards dripping wet and looking
like a drowned rat. C'est la vie.

Nonetheless...48 hours later, I got this great news!
Major relief would be an understatement.
And surreal. So surreal.

Meanwhile, as soon as I took
my exam, I headed out of the country
and back to this beautiful little girl!

Christina and I stayed at the maternity center again
(thanks, Beth Johnson, for your hospitality)!
There were several births while I was there, and the
Heartline midwives were so kind as to let me catch one
of the babies (who was born in the caul)! So fun.

We got to go the beach one day...

...which Christina and I both loved :)

 July

Obligatory photos of our 4th of July outfits :)

And then...back to the States to start my new job.
(Oh. Finished up at job #2 at the beginning of June, so I was
down to just 1 job for a whole month before starting at the
hospital!)

RN badge > Grad nurse badge
:)

One day I'll quit. Really. #eightPOINTfiveyearsandcounting

August

Lina came for her annual Texas vacation!
Thanks, Taylor, for picking her up at the airport for me!

Birthday girls! (Technically, Lina's birthday is in July,
but it's tradition to have a Texas birthday party for her.
Last year it was in June, this year it was in August.
Close enough.)

party people :)

And then...it was time to send Lina back to Florida :(
But first, we went to see a performance of Les Mis in Dallas!

So there ya have it -- most major life events since October as recalled by Instagram ;) These past several months years have been super crazy, and there have been many times when I've felt overwhelmed and/or out of control (though let's be honest -- when have I ever really been in control?). Dramatic though this will sound, there were definitely times when I didn't know how I was going to make it from one day to the next (let alone from one semester of nursing school to the next). So many doubts, so many fears, so much to do, so little time. But. God has been so faithful...not to provide necessarily what I want...but to always provide what I need. He's pretty wise like that ;) Mmm...so let this be a reminder to me when I again (probably two seconds from now) am unsure...overwhelmed...in need.

Lamentations 3:21-24

 But this I call to mind,
    and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
 they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
    “therefore I will hope in him.”

season by season

Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me 

Morning by morning I wake up to find 

The power and comfort of God’s hand in mine 

Season by season I watch Him, amazed 

In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways 

All I have need of, His hand will provide 

He’s always been faithful to me. 

Sara Groves

More likely than not, if you talked to me for more than a few minutes at any point between May and August, I probably mentioned (or at least alluded to) my utter dread and anxiety about the upcoming Super Scary and All Too Imminent Fourth Semester {of nursing school} that I was about to begin. From day one of the nursing program (literally, since we walked into orientation), my classmates and I have heard nothing but anxiety-producing things about how hard/awful/stressful/drown-in-a-puddle-of-tears 4th semester is. Needless to say, it was not exactly something I was overly looking forward to. 2nd semester was stressful enough, and I couldn't even comprehend how it possibly (but supposedly) could get worse. Add to that leaving my Haiti home and all of the people I love there and returning to my Texas home just in time to start back to my work and school whirlwind... There were definitely a few days where I merely existed in a daze of Haiti-withdrawal/school dread/emotional meh (ßtechnical term).

Thankfully (oh so thankfully), God has once again been so faithful to move me from that place of being overwhelmed by nearly every little thing  into a place where I am frequently reminded of how very much He has blessed me--in so many ways, but especially with the people He's placed in my life. I am surrounded by so many wonderful and supportive and encouraging people, both near and far, and that truly makes all the difference in the world between drowning in that puddle of tears and being able to "chin up" and keep going on the not so great days. And you know what? The "not so great days" have been much fewer and farther between than I'd feared. That's often true, I guess, that anticipation is worse than reality.

Anyway, all of this to say, I am grateful. Grateful to God for His faithfulness in providing exactly what (and who!) I need in the moment I need it, and grateful to all of you wonderful people -- family, friends, coworkers, customers, fellow church members, classmates, Haiti friends -- who add such joy to my life. So thankful.

In other happy news...

My first niece or nephew will be arriving in Spring 2014 :) Congratulations, Kevin & Danielle!

Paul made the brilliant decision in August to date this amazing girl, and I'm thoroughly enjoying watching their relationship grow. I also got a trip to Nashville and an introduction to Beaver Nuggets out of this deal ;)

Last but certainly not least, this little one turned six in September!

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

loved & missed

I am not a theologian or a scholar, but I am very aware of the fact that pain is necessary to all of us. In my own life, I think I can honestly say that out of the deepest pain has come the strongest conviction of the presence of God and the love of God. . . Heaven is not here, it’s There. If we were given all we wanted here, our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible Kingdom, where we will certainly find what we so keenly long for. 

- Elisabeth Elliot

re-acclimating. or something.

51 days. 2 countries. 8 states. 4 flights. 35+ hours of driving. Births. Deaths. New & old friends. Tears. Laughter. Hope. #andthatsawrap (repost from 8/22)

Adjusting to being back in the States is always hard for me (for many reasons), and not too surprisingly, coming back this time has been harder than ever. Yes, I know that I need to be in the States right now; I need to work and to finish school so that I can be in Haiti full-time next year. And I'm definitely glad to get to see and catch up with friends and family again -- it was especially good for my heart to get to catch up with several friends at church tonight. For those reasons, then, it is good to be back. 

But am I glad to be back? Not so much. Or at least, not yet anyway. Although I'm trying my best to not mope around missing Haiti, there's no denying that so much of my heart is still in that little country that I love, with my friends at Heartline, with the ladies and their babies in our programs, with Christina...and re-acclimating to Stateside life has been a bit of a challenge thus far. Doesn't take much for my mind to make the leap from a dosage calculation review session and a question on methyldopa to memories of giving that drug to a sweet Heartline mom who developed high blood pressure during labor and who still struggles with that postpartum. Or when a classmate makes a comment about wanting another week of vacation with her son (and who wouldn't?), all I can think is that it's been a week since I've seen Christina, and it'll be at least another 4 months before I see her again. Or when our instructors are explaining how important it is to be precise with dosage calculations, always, but in particular when you're giving medication to a 3lb baby -- then my mind is off thinking about the preemie I helped care for at Heartline in May, and the teeny little baby that Paul and Hannah cared for last month at Real Hope for Haiti. Not that I'm hosting myself pity parties (again, I know, I really do, that it is good that I'm here for now), but these are just a few examples of how it doesn't take much right now to put me in a somewhat disoriented state of melancholy.

All of that to say, I guess, please be patient with me, Texas friends, as I try to find the balance between loving/missing Haiti and being fully involved again in life here. It may take me a little bit to regain enthusiasm for things here, but slowly but surely I am getting there. And prayers, of course, are always welcomed and appreciated :)

Clockwise from top right: Paul & Hannah; Agathe, Anna,
Cherline & Beth M; Schnieder; Sherly, Jonathan & Taylor;
Kevin & Danielle; Alix, Katia & me; Christina & Sherly;
Richard
Center: Wini, Marie Alineda, me & Sarah

summing it up

The passage of time can be such a strange thing; how can six weeks seem like forever (in a good way) and yet go by so mind-spinningly quickly? How is it that it simultaneously seems like it's just been a few days since Taylor and I arrived in my Haiti home...and yet it also feels like a lifetime ago? Don't ask me to make sense of this.

Six weeks. 43 days in that place that I so love. How do I sum up all of the joy - the tears - the hopes -the pain - the laughter that I both saw and experienced in that short-long time? The gift of being present to witness the first breath of a new little life, of seeing a mother connect with her child for the very first time. The heartache of knowing so many whose stories are difficult to hear, let alone to comprehend the reality of what they face. The renewed realization that we serve a God who alone can (and does!) rescue and redeem and save. 

Joy and sadness intermingle in much of the day-to-day life at the maternity center, in many of the lives of the women we are blessed to get to know and serve. Being there for a little bit longer this time allowed me to begin to see that more fully, to start to learn more than just names and due dates. It allowed me the privilege of hearing their stories, of being invited to share in even a small piece of their lives. For this, I am both immensely thankful and humbled to have been given such a gift. I've shared some of this quote from Beth McHoul before, but I'm going to post it again, because it so profoundly expresses the heart behind the ministry of the maternity center: 

The heartbeat of our maternity center is our relationship with our women...Our maternity center sees a lot of joy, we have a lot of fun and witness the miracle of birth over and over.  Sometimes it is required of us to dip our cups into a well of sorrow and grieve with people in loss.  And this we willingly do because the word midwife means to be “with women” and Christian means to be “like Christ”.

Se sa. What a privilege it is to get to come alongside so many women and walk with them through such a significant time as pregnancy, childbirth, and the early months of parenting. To be given the opportunity to enter into their joy and hopes and dreams and, yes, at times, even their sorrow. To get to know so many wonderful, strong, resilient, faith-filled women. To share even a piece of life together. What an incredible, beautiful gift.

I am so grateful for the time I was able to spend in Haiti this summer. Thank you, thank you, thank you to each of you who made it possible for me to be there and, especially, for all of your prayers. Being able to spend the summer in my Haiti home means more to me than I can say, and I am all the more excited (and impatient!) now for next year (hopefully) when I can be there full-time. But, in the meantime, for the next several months at least, back to Texas/Starbucks/nursing school (via Nashville ;) I go!