my 2010 reading list

At the commencement of 2010 (I am in denial that that was a year ago already), I decided to keep track of all that I read over the next 12 months. Among other reasons, I figured it'd be kind of interesting to find out how much I actually read in a year; additionally, now as I look back over the list, just by seeing the titles of some of these books again, I am reminded of whatever was going on in my life while I was reading them (for example, I read Candles in the Dark while stranded in South Florida; the Emily books kept me company during the Period of Never-Ending Sickness and Near Death). So many of the books I read last year have made their way onto my list of all-time favorites; there were only two books, I think, that I absolutely did not like and only finished so that I could at least say I'd read them once. So, overall, it was a good literary year. Thanks to all who recommended (and sometimes loaned) books (Everly, Samuel, Gina, Loren); I certainly welcome more suggestions for 2011! Happy New Year!

Reading List 2010

1. Across Five Aprils – Irene Hunt

2. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking Glass – Lewis Carroll

3. The Jungle Books Volume I – Rudyard Kipling

4. Candles in the Dark – Amy Carmichael

5. A Tale of Two Cities – Charles Dickens

6. Emily of New Moon – L.M. Montgomery

7. Emily Climbs – L.M. Montgomery

8. Haiti Past, Present, Future: Where is the Hope? – Timothy DeTellis

9. Dancing under the Red Star – Karl Tobien

10. Little House in the Big Woods – Laura Ingalls Wilder

11. Mary Poppins – P.L. Travers

12. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer – Mark Twain

13. No Graven Image – Elisabeth Elliot

14. Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte

15. The Scarlet Pimpernel – Baroness Emmuska Orczy

16. Chronicles of Avonlea – L.M. Montgomery

17. Kiss – Ted Dekker

18. The Mysterious Benedict Society – Trenton Lee Stewart

19. Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte

20. Fearlessly Feminine – Jani Ortlund

21. The Story Girl – L.M. Montgomery

22. The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame

23. The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Perilous Journey – Trenton Lee Stewart

24. To Kill A Mockingbird – Harper Lee

25. The Homecoming – Earl Hamner, Jr.

26. Kilmeny of the Orchard – L.M. Montgomery

27. Anne of Green Gables – L.M. Montgomery

28. The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Prisoner’s Dilemma – Trenton Lee Stewart

29. A Doll’s House – Henrik Ibsen

30. Uncle Tom’s Cabin – Harriet Beecher Stowe

31. After Many Days – L.M. Montgomery

32. These Strange Ashes – Elisabeth Elliot

33. Discipline: The Glad Surrender – Elisabeth Elliot

34. Tommy and Grizel – J.M. Barrie

35. A Wrinkle in Time – Madeleine L’Engle

36. The Happy Hollisters – Jerry West

37. A Lifetime of Wisdom – Joni Eareckson Tada

38. Treasure Island – Robert Louis Stevenson

39. Love Has a Price Tag – Elisabeth Elliot

40. Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen

41. The Story of the Trapp Family Singers – Maria Augusta Trapp

42. Daddy Long Legs – Jean Webster

Currently reading:

1. Prayers of an Excellent Wife – Andrew Case

2. Dear Enemy – Jean Webster

3. What is the Gospel? – Greg Gilbert

Let thanksgiving be the habit of your life

It is always possible to be thankful for what is given rather than to complain about what is not given . . . Accept, positively and actively, what is given. Let thanksgiving be the habit of your life.

- Elisabeth Elliot, Love Has a Price Tag

131. So grateful to whoever (whomever? whatever.) from my church posts the sermons online; I was amazed and excited to find last night's message up just a few hours after the service and to then be able to listen to it before I went to bed. Also (as always) just so thankful to be part of such a beautiful, Gospel-centered church.

132. Time back in Florida with [most of] my siblings. It's been fun spending time with them again (I hadn't seen Danielle, Nahomie, or James in nearly a year!).

33. That Lina is continuing to recover well after her surgery. She's able to do sooo much, considering she just had major spinal surgery at the beginning of the month. She's still in pain and gets tired more easily than normal, but overall she's doing so well.

134. Fun times visiting with friends and their absolutely adorable little boys.

135. Lots of time to read this week! Just finished Treasure Island and Love Has a Price Tag; also reading this wonderfully fun childhood classic!

136. Thankful for a simple way to be a part of bringing hope to people in need, and so thankful for the Hendrick family and all they're doing in Haiti.

137. Homemade applesauce...mmmm!!!

138. Phone conversations with my dear sister-friend-cousins.

139. A thoughtful and encouraging facebook message from a faraway friend.

140. Hot cups of tea on cold mornings.

(P.S. Once upon a time I said something about writing a "real" post. Right. It'll happen...someday. I hope. In the meantime, at least I show up on Mondays...right?)

so thankful

41. My wonderful church, and the opportunity to connect with other women and be taught during the semi-quarterly LifeGivers meeting.

42. A surprise gift of flowers from a friend, just to say thank you.

43. A cute card and fun letter from a dear friend.

44. The opportunity to go to my first college football game ever.

45. The fact that God teaches me even through yucky days and miserable failures.

46. The wit and wisdom of Elisabeth Elliot (and her newest-to-me book, which is already one of my favorites).

47. Getting to sleep in today!

48. The Bible study that my "flogos" group is starting to go through on this passage; I am really excited about this!

49. Beautifully expressed words of wisdom from a friend, and the fact that God seems to be teaching both of us the same thing right now.

50. Raspberry peach cobbler.

Life lessons

I had a terrible day Friday; one of those oh-so-fun days when every little thing at work seemed to go wrong and when I felt like I just plain couldn't do anything right. I was (kindly) informed of several things that I should've done differently/better, I dropped everything I picked up, spilled everything I touched, and just couldn't quite get it together the entire day. Several miscommunications early on in the day added to my confusion and left me feeling frustrated and lacking control. To complete this downward spiral, I then took my negative emotions out on a friend. All in all, I was a horrid mess of negativity, and, though I knew that I needed to take every thought captive to obey Christ (rather than letting every little thing nearly leave me in tears), I still chose to dwell on my mistakes and frustrations. I just couldn't "let myself off the hook" for things not going smoothly. Because, along with over-thinking everything (which I blame on the engineer "gene" that runs on both sides of my family) . . .

. . . I am by nature a people-pleaser and a perfectionist and have always struggled with trying to live up to certain expectations which, a lot of the time, are probably self-imposed more than anything. When I fail to meet these expectations, then, I make myself miserable because I feel like I've let everyone down. Rather than finding my security in Christ and in the fact that I belong to Him, I look to people for affirmation and try to measure up to what I perceive their expectations to be. You'd think that I've been a Christian long enough to know better than this, but clearly this is something God is still working on with me.

Friday night as I was thinking back through my day and realizing how poorly I'd handled things, God started to connect the dots for me and to show me that such days can be valuable life lessons, if only I would quit being so self-absorbed and focusing on how bad I felt about things. Interestingly enough, several aspects of the awfulness which was Friday relate directly to topics that were discussed earlier in the week at both a women's meeting I went to at church and then at my Bible study a few days later: that of finding security in Christ, focusing on that which is pleasing to Him, and learning from mistakes but not dwelling there.

First of all, my worth is found in Christ, and I am complete in Him; I don't need to (nor should I) base my identity on what other people think or say about me. I love this quote from Elisabeth Elliot: "Where does your security lie? Is God your refuge, your hiding place, your stronghold, your shepherd, your counselor, your friend, your redeemer, your saviour, your guide? If He is, you don't need to search any further for security." And as John Piper points out, "God made us who we are so we could make known who He is. . .The meaning of our identity is that the excellency of God be seen in us." Therefore, what does it matter what other people think about me? Ultimately, it makes no difference whether or not anyone thinks I'm nice or pretty or can carry on a decent conversation; what matters is that in everything I say and do, I reflect Christ and bring glory to His name. I ought to echo Paul's statement in his letter to the Galatians: "Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant."

Second, my thoughts need to be on whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable -- these are the things on which I should focus, NOT on my frustrations or hurts or the faults of myself or others. Although there is a time and a place to deal with such things and to respond in a way that is pleasing to God, so often further problems could be avoided if I would remember all that God has done for me:

I will remember the deeds of the LORD;

yes, I will remember Your wonders of old.

I will ponder all Your work;

and meditate on Your mighty deeds.

Your way, O God, is holy.

What god is great like our God?

Psalm 77:11-13

Thirdly, and similarly, I cannot let myself dwell on my mistakes. When it is an issue of sin, I need to repent and, as appropriate, make amends, but I must not wallow in guilt. It is for freedom that Christ has set me free! In His incomprehensible love and mercy, Christ has forgiven me and remembers my sins no more. If He doesn't continue beating me over the head with reminders of my sins, who am I to dwell there? So, whether my failure is a sin or if it is merely an expectation that I didn't meet, I accomplish nothing by reminding myself over and over of how horrible I am. L.M. Montgomery wisely said, "We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward into the future with us."

So, those are some of the lessons that I think God is trying to teach me out of my miserable Friday (likely there are more that I haven't realized yet). He truly does cause all things to work together for good for those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose; how amazing is it that He uses even the messes I make to teach me more about Himself and (if I learn these lessons) to make me more like Him! May I "grow in the grace and knowledge of our LORD and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen." 2 Peter 3: 18

Of beauty and enjoyment (part 1)

As I mentioned in a previous post, Sabrina and Everly and I have been doing a book study this summer on Elisabeth Elliot's Discipline: The Glad Surrender. This sort-of-weekly time of discussion, laughter, tears, and sharing our lives with each other has been so wonderful, so special, and so very edifying. Though we frequently drift off topic (some weeks more than others, depending on what crazy circumstances are going on at that time -- and trust me, there have been many this summer!), we also have had many good conversations that have arisen from the multitude of wisdom that EE shares in her book.

Yesterday, we talked about "The Discipline of Possessions", one aspect of which is that

Things are given to us to enjoy for awhile. Nothing has done more damage to the Christian view of life than the hideous notion that those who are truly spiritual have lost all interest in the world and its beauties. The Bible says, "God . . . endows us richly with all things to enjoy." It also says, "Do not set your hearts on the godless world or anything in it." It is altogether fitting and proper that we should enjoy things made for us to enjoy. What is not fitting or proper is that we should set our hearts on them. Temporal things must be treated as temporal things -- received, given thanks for, offered back, but enjoyed.

Interestingly enough, this topic is one that I've been pondering fairly frequently over the last few months as God has provided so many opportunities for me to rejoice in the "simple pleasures" of life. From glorious sunsets, silly moments with dear friends, and beautifully foamy soy cappuccinos to midnight excursions to play on the swings at the park, spontaneous hugs, and the delight in reading a good book -- all these things are gifts from God, given to me for enjoyment and that I may, in response, praise Him. He is so good, so kind and so loving; daily (and, were I to open my eyes and pay attention, even moment by moment) He graciously gives me so many reasons to rejoice in Him. And how magnificent it is to rejoice in Him! After all, as the Westminster Catechism states, the chief end of man (that is, our reason for being) is "to glorify God and enjoy Him forever."

Now, I have to admit that all too often I take His gifts for granted and fail to acknowledge His hand in providing them; furthermore, I have to be careful not to get so caught up in the gift, whatever it may be, that I am more in awe of it than I am of its Giver (that would be idolatry).

On that note, though, I must rather abruptly end this particular post with a "to be continued", as I am rapidly running out of time before I need to be at work. So, until next time! :)

What I Want is You!

"Even in my own life right now, I have been unable in the decision that I've got to make to say, 'This is what the Lord wants me to do.' But what the Spirit of God has unleashed in my heart is this prayer: 'I want You! And if You're in this marriage, and if You're in this opportunity, and if You're in this financial decision, and if You're in this job opportunity, and if You're in this place, that's where I want to be! What I want is You!'" (Matt Chandler)

I'm doing a book study this summer with two of my dearest friends, Sabrina and Everly, and we're going through Discipline: The Glad Surrender by Elisabeth Elliot. Today, despite quite a number of distractions going on around us in the coffeehouse where we met, we discussed the chapter entitled "A Sovereign God and

Man's Choice." The main idea throughout this chapter is that there are two wills--God's and ours--and that, though God is sovereignly in control of every imaginable detail of life and existence, He has "arranged things in such a way that His own action is coupled with the action of men." He allows us, sinful and broken as we are, "the dignity to act in freedom and thus to have a willed part in what He does." Not only does He give us a choice as to whether or not we will act in accordance with Him, but He ALLOWS us to do just that--be participants in the incredible (and eternal!) work He is doing in our lives, in the lives of those around us, and perhaps even in the lives of people we will never meet on this earth. That is truly mind-boggling if you really stop to think about it; as David said in Psalm 8:4, "What is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You care for him?" Our all-powerful God, Creator of the universe, lets us be a part of His plan. Amazing.

Along with this, Sabrina, Everly and I got to talking about our tendency to get caught up in trying to see and figure out "the big picture" (i.e. God's grand plan/His will for our lives) to the neglect of the seemingly smaller and/or mundane things of life. Speaking for myself, I frequently find myself wondering what God's plan for me is--what I'm supposed to do with my life, where I'm supposed to go, whether or not I'll get married/have kids/live overseas, etc. While it's not wrong to think about these things and even consider them to some degree, the problem is that when I become so focused on that abstract Future and begin to obsess about figuring out what God wants me to do, I quickly forget that He's already TOLD me what to do. I am to be faithful in my day-to-day life to seek Him and to obey His Word. I am to love the LORD my God with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my strength and with all my mind, and I am to love my neighbor as myself (Luke 10:27). It's really not as complicated as I tend to make it. I may not know right now what the future holds, but you know what? That's ok. If I am focusing on my relationship with God and being obedient in the daily "small" matters of life, the "grand plan" is being worked out within that. God is not trying to keep His will from me. Rather, He declares to us in Jeremiah 29:13-14a that "you will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you." What a beautiful promise. And truly, what is better than that, than finding God? What else really matters? So regardless of where I am or what I'm doing, may I echo Matt Chandler's prayer: "If You're in this place, that's where I want to be! What I want is You!"