"How was your trip?"

with Gabrielle at Notre Maison

So much for “the perks” of being back in the States…my power went out this morning (with a boom!), and I only had cold water for part of my shower (which was my fault; I forgot that I’d started the washing machine not too long before that).  Guess I never should have written the other day about my expectation that I’d have a warm shower and constant electricity today!  And then, the internet at my house was also acting wacky all day after the power came back on.  Go figure.  I just have to laugh; God has quite the sense of humor.  I said that I didn’t want to get so comfortable with my “normal routines and the ease of everyday life” that I’d forget about Haiti; well, there’s a pretty good reminder!  

Today was okay.  I'm remembering quite clearly now that coming back is always so much harder (for me, anyway) than going.  I'm so incredibly thankful that I didn't have to go back to work today; I've needed today to kind of ease back into things and to kind of process where I'm at emotionally/mentally.  Even though I've been to Haiti more times than I can count, and even though I had an amazing trip, there's still so much to think through...to pray through...to respond to...and honestly, there are only a select few people that I want to talk to right now.  Not because I love these people more or others less; it's just that today, I was not ready to respond to a bunch of people asking, "How was your trip?".  Not because it's a bad question, not because I don't have a ton to share.  But right now, today, I only feel up to talking through things with those who have been there.  Haiti is not a place that can be adequately described in words, photographs, or even videos.  Until you go and experience the sights and sounds and smells (seriously, the smells!), there's no way you can get it (which is totally okay).  It's just that today, I'm not up for trying to explain.  By tomorrow, I should be ready (or more ready--though, ready or not, here I come).  So ask the question.  I'll try to figure out if you want the one-word answer ("good") or if you want the extended version (if so, you'd better clear your schedule because I could probably talk for hours and hours if I got started).  Normally, I love when people want to know about Haiti, and I love talking about this place and these people that are so special to me.

So I guess, all that to say, please be patient with me over the next few days as I readjust to being back.  I don't want anyone to read this and think that you shouldn't ask about my trip; I just want you to understand that I might have a hard time answering (or maybe not, I really don't know).  It seems so silly; I mean, I was only gone two weeks, and it's not like I went somewhere new or had a horrible experience or anything.  Still, life-changing "stuff" occurred on this trip, and whether I like it or not, I can't just jump back into life here as if nothing happened.  And I don't want to.  The last thing in the world I want is to get so caught up again in "my United States life" that I let Haiti get pushed to the back of my mind.  I want...I need to take what I've seen and done and learned these past few weeks and allow God to use these experiences to direct my future steps.  None of this "out of sight, out of mind" junk.  Can't let that happen.  This trip to Haiti may be over, but the journey is far from over (again, I promise there really will be a future post with more details, hopefully soon).  Anyway, bear with me.  And pray for me; I would so appreciate it!

P.S. I've posted the first half of my Haiti pictures here, if anyone is interested.

back in Texas

reunited with the brother

Aaaaand I'm home.  Good day of travel...besides the whole really really really didn't want to leave Haiti thing.  I tried to convince myself that I had to leave (Haiti) in order to go back, but so far at least, that's not very comforting.  Oh well...

Anyway, the only minor travel issue today was my connection in Dallas, which I very nearly didn't make.  My flight from Fort Lauderdale landed right as my flight to Austin was boarding, but then it took forever to taxi to the gate.  Plus, I was in the back of the plane, so I just barely made it onto the next flight before they closed the doors.   Amazingly, my luggage made it, too!

I'm pretty much entirely exhausted, so off I go to shower and sleep.  Good news (oh so good) is that I'm off tomorrow (very pleasant surprise); so thankful to get a day to unpack/do laundry/sleep/process before jumping right back into things.  I'll try to get a post up soon about my current thoughts for future plans...  But for now, bon nwit!

from FLL

my Rebo Mocha at the airport

Well, I made it safely to Fort Lauderdale.  On to Dallas and then Austin next.  Should be home around 10pm CT.  While waiting to board my flight in Port au Prince, I wrote this on my ipod:

Easiest Port au Prince airport experience ever! Seriously. Maybe 30 minutes from start to finish (honestly, I keep waiting for something to go wrong). So much for sabotage, intentional or otherwise!

Ryan dropped me off at the airport a little after 8, and immediately I was surrounded by the usual group of red caps wanting to take my bags. Because the only cash I had on me was a $20 bill, I had decided I was just going to awkwardly get all my luggage on my own. Not ideal, but doable. However, one guy absolutely insisted on carrying two of my suitcases for me for free (and I checked 3 or 4 times to make sure he knew I couldn't pay him), so we trekked on in to the first security check-point,

really leaving...  :(

no problem. There wasn't even a line, which was weird in and of itself. Most of the time you have to wait forever in various lines each step of the way. Today, no lines whatsoever. Whoever you are that's praying for my journey today, thank you. Your prayers are felt!

Anyway, by the time we got up to the first security belt, I had two guys helping me. They put my bags on the belt, and that was that! No insisting that I give them something after all, just smiles, a compliment on my Kreyol, and a wish for a "Bon voyage"!!! Amazing.

Port au Prince

bel Ayiti

I went through security to get into the airport, and within 3 minutes, I was standing at the ticket counter checking in. Again,  amazing. No line there, no line for immigration, minimal line for the next two security checks. I was beginning to get nervous that I'd missed my flight (not that that would be a bad thing...maybe then I could stay after all!) or that it wasn't actually until much later or something. Never ever have I had a quicker, easier time getting from the car to my gate (and if you've ever traveled to Haiti, you know this is saying something)! I don't know what was going on--if maybe everyone decided to check in super early today, thereby clearing the way for me when I got there on time--but it was great! Well, except for the whole I'm-leaving-Haiti-and-that's-why-I'm-here part. Did not like that. Still don't.

----
So, so far so good.  I've spent a lot of time today continuing to think over these past two weeks and pray about where I'll be going/what I'll be doing from here on out.  More on that in a future post...





In the meantime, here's the video of Christina that I took yesterday morning (was that really only yesterday?!).  We were sitting on the floor and she was on my lap, playing and talking.  Is she not the cutest ever???  :)

Oh how time flies

You're worthy of worship

You're worthy of praise

You're worthy of honor

You're worthy of thanks

- Jesus is the Lord, Travis Cottrell -

Wildania, Killeen, and Eveline

Wilson and Jameson

So many emotions as I'm preparing to leave tomorrow.  Everything from extreme sadness about leaving this 

place I love to overwhelming gratitude for all that I've seen and experienced over the past two weeks.  (The one emotion that is not present is excitement about going home.  Nope.  Can't muster that one up.)  I said good-bye to the kids at Notre Maison this morning; oh how much I miss them already.  Especially my Ti Nina.  She was super-talkative this morning.  I got the cutest video of her, but I'll probably have to wait til I get back to the States to post it.  

I also just had to say good-bye to Beth.  I don't know if there is any living woman that I admire more than this lady.  She is humble and gracious and wise and so very hospitable, and the passion the Lord has given her for serving Haitian women is such an amazing, beautiful thing to see.  I am thankful beyond words for the time I was able to spend at Heartline during this trip; what a blessing for me that Beth (along with Heather, Tara, Cookie, Melissa, Wini, and Agathe) so graciously welcomed me and allowed me to observe 

Christina

and learn and participate.  So thankful, too, for the wisdom and advice I received from these amazing ladies.  The Lord is doing incredible things through them, and I'm just so grateful to have been able to see this firsthand.  Please, please pray for them and their ministry here in Haiti; your prayers are such an important part of the work that is being done.

So hard to believe that in twenty-four hours I will be back in Texas.  As I sat on the roof earlier and looked out at the lights up on the mountain, I couldn't help but think how different and how very far apart my two worlds are: my Haiti world and my United States world.  Today, I've kissed precious little brown faces and spoken Kreyol and visited with sweet Esther and gotten my hair braided by a teen mom and eaten plantain chips and climbed up on the roof and listened to the hum of the generator that's giving power to the house.  Two days from now, I'll wake up in my house that rarely, if ever, loses electricity and drive on perfectly-paved streets to a job where I'll make nearly 5 times more in one hour than what over 4 billion people around the world live on in a day. I'll go to the grocery store and have an

Mama Eman, Raphael, and Lena

 overwhelming amount of choices of items to put in my cart and buy, and I'll take a warm shower and brush my teeth directly from the sink without any fear of getting sick.  Different worlds.  There are things I love about each place; blessings God has given both in Texas and in Haiti.  I'm really going to need to remember this, especially over the next few days as I attempt to readjust to life in the States.  But yet, I don't want to get so comfortable being there, with my normal routines and the ease of everyday life, that I forget what I've experienced in Haiti, not just these past two weeks but over the past thirteen years.  May God continually place on my mind the sweet faces (and the ornery ones, too!) of the kids here that I love so dearly.  May He remind me of Esther and Mama Eman and all the other 

Mama Eman and Heather, wearing Djenie's "hair"

women that Heartline is serving, and of Beth and Tara and Melissa and Cookie and Heather and Wini and Agathe who are working to spread the Gospel by serving those in need.  And may these remembrances lead me to Him, that I might faithfully pray as He brings each person and need to mind.

And with that, I'm going to abruptly end, because I am oh-so-tired and should probably get to bed.  I suppose...the next post will be from Texas...

baby Judler and Esther

Mama Eman and her boys

Sherline, Mama Eman, and Raphael

grace upon grace

From his fullness we all received grace upon grace.

John 1:16

Christine and Christina

611. The cool breeze that’s blowing across the roof right now.

612. Christina, talking while I fed her breakfast.

613. Worshipping at Port au Prince Fellowship on Sunday.

614. Getting to see the Meadows family at church.

615. Beth’s graciousness and hospitality.

616. Coconut M&M’s.

617. That Mama Emmanuel had her baby, and the miracle God worked in his birth.

618. Getting to be on “night shift” with Lena the night after Raphael’s birth.

619. Visiting Fort Jaques with the kids.

620. Remembering just now that I have brownies left over from our quick stop at the Baptist Mission (hoping they’re not stale)!

621. Getting to stay a few nights at the HeartlineGuesthouse.

622. Seeing Esther and baby Judler on Tuesday and Thursday.

623. Dinner with the teen moms and their babies at the McHouls’ house.

624. Getting to see the new Heartline property.

Pastor John climbing the precarious ladder.

625. Talking to Shelley after church on Sunday; so thankful for her encouragement and kind words.

626. Being able to spend so much time at Heartline while still having time with the kids at Notre Maison.

627. That Heartline is a finalist for the Giving of Life grant.

628. God’s perfect timing in allowing me to be in Haiti for these two weeks.

629. This song that we sang in church on Sunday.  Even more meaningful to be singing it in Haiti among people from all over the world.

630. Walton (without prompting) sweetly thanking me for the toy car I’d given him earlier.  Much better response than from most of the older boys who’d also gotten cars!

me and Keloke

Today was a good day.  I had planned to go with several of the kids to physical therapy this morning, but instead I ended up staying at the orphanage to translate for a group that's here now from Ohio.  We/they spent the first part of the morning cleaning and organizing one of the rooms, and then several of the men managed to put up a huge tarp over the driveway to shade the yard from the sun.  This entailed a lot of tree-climbing by the pastor of the group (at several points he was perched so precariously, I couldn't believe his wife was managing to watch him so calmly!), and then, he even climbed up a ladder that was only leaning against another ladder (while being supported by several people).  I was quite relieved when the tarp was up and everyone was safely on the ground!  I'm really hoping that now that the tarp is up, the kids will be able to play outside more, and especially that the kids in wheelchairs can come outside more and get fresh air.

Christina

Once they were finished with the tarp, I took Christina inside to feed her lunch.  I was sitting on the floor with her on my lap, and one of the nannies came up and asked Christina where her "manman" (pronounced as a nasally "mama") was.  Christina immediately squealed and launched herself at my neck.  Melted my heart, or some other equally sentimental phrase.  I was very tempted in that moment to go post a Facebook/Twitter status asking if any guy out there might be ok with marrying me (say, tomorrow) so that I could adopt my Ti Nina.  Be proud of me; I managed to refrain.  I really don't know if Christina even understood the question or if she was just responding to the attention from the nanny, but still.  Given that I've wished for a year and a half now that I could adopt her, that didn't help matters.  But we'll see...  Bondye konnen.

Lovely

This afternoon, the Ohio group put on a mini-VBS, which the kids enjoyed.  It was interesting, though, hearing Gertrude translate on the spot the skit they did, having not had the opportunity to prepare for words/phrases that might need to be adjusted to be better understood in Kreyol.  Some things just don't translate the same.  For example, in English, we use "power" and "electricity" interchangeably; unless I'm mistaken, it just doesn't work the same in Kreyol--you don't generally say you have the "electricity" of Christ in you.  The skit used a play on those words to get a point across, but I think it kind of got lost in translation...  Regardless, though, I know the kids enjoyed it.

Christine

So tomorrow...my last day...  What horribly awful words.  Have I mentioned that I really am not ready to go back?  But back I suppose I must go...for now.  But.  I do still have tomorrow.  Currently planning to go back to Heartline for child development day (rumor has it that Beth, Lena, and I will be doing a skit during class).  One of the teen moms wants to braid my hair afterward, and then I'll be back at the guesthouse for the night.  Evan has agreed to give me a ride to the airport on Wednesday, though I've asked that he come up with a way to (safely and without causing anyone harm) sabotage my departure.  Let's see if he comes through :)

of baby and worship and coconut m&m's

with baby Raphael

Thanks to those who prayed last night that baby Raphael would start nursing again.  Around 1am, Lena and I went back down to check on baby and mama; after a bit of prompting, Raphael finally started showing a little more interest in eating.  I would've updated then, but we didn't have electricity/internet.  There was, however, some rather loud (though relatively non-annoying) music playing somewhere nearby to fall asleep to... :/

We slept for about 4 hours before getting up again to check on Mama E and Raphael.  At this point we got rather confused (or, I did, at least) as to whether or not Haiti was changing time with Daylight Savings Time or not...the time had changed on my ipod and on the clock in the birthing room (apparently it's an atomic clock), but not on my phone or on Mama E's.  So, was it 5am or 6am?  We didn't think Haiti was going with DST this time, but in Haiti, it's hard to know.  When I lived here in Spring 2005, it took about 3 days to figure out that Haiti had "sprung forward" (in the meantime, it was a little interesting trying to know when to get 

Raphael and his sweet mama

people to get to the airport for their flights!).  We asked Mama E, and she said that some people might change the time, others might not.  Who knows.  Oh Haiti.  We eventually decided that the time probably had not changed here, which was confirmed when Beth came to pick us up for church.

Anyway, Raphael latched right onto Mama E this morning with no problem, and Mama E was doing well, too, so after one last vitals check, we headed off to church with Beth.  I really enjoy being at Port au Prince Fellowship.  It's so neat to be able to worship there with people from so many places all over the world.  It's always fun to see people there that I've met over the years in Haiti--and, today, to see this wonderful family from my hometown in Texas!  They're here visiting and exploring the possibility of moving to Haiti full-time; so fun to get to see them here!

Lena, the baby expert :)

Ok, I'm officially exhausted, so how about bullet points for the rest of today:

• Went to lunch with Ryan and Evan; our initial restaurant of choice was closed, so we went to the Epidor above the Tabarre Delimart.  I had a disgusting hamburger (if, in fact, you can call that a hamburger), but then Evan gave me coconut M&M's, which made up for whatever it was I'd just eaten.  I did not know before today that coconut M&M's existed, but I'm pretty sure I might dream about them tonight.  Soooo good.
• John and Beth hosted a dinner tonight for the teen moms and their babies.  Beth cooked lots of yummy food (this lady is amazing in so many ways!), and we all had a great time.
• Beth and Lena dropped me back off at Notre Maison after dinner.  Tentative plan is that I'll spend tomorrow here with the kids, and then Tuesday I'll go back over to Heartline for child development day.  I'm planning to spend Tuesday night at the Heartline Guesthouse, and then...unless I can come up with a way to delay/prevent getting on the plane that won't cause harm to anyone...I have to go back to the States on Wednesday :( :( :(

And with that not-so-cheery thought, off to bed I go.  Coconut M&M's...  :)

big brother Emmanuel

 

Word of advice for the day: Check before you sweeten your coffee to be sure you're using sugar, not salt.  Just saying.  Not like I'd know this from experience or anything...  :)

God Heals

Roseline

I am officially the worst blog-post-starter ever.  As in, my mind goes blank when it comes to coming up with some clever or profound way to introduce a post.  I just can't do it.  I thought about trying to find a good quote to start things out, but I couldn't even manage that, as I immediately got thoroughly distracted and amused by the fact that my Google homepage is currently in Kreyol (so awesome).  Less awesome is the fact that Google keeps trying to tell me that I've moved to Haiti, while I glare back at it and say "not yet! (though oh how I wish I could!)."

Jean Daniel

Anyway, today.  I woke up this morning to the news that Mama E had gone into labor during the night.  Good news, as she has been so ready to have this baby and get home to her family in Ti Guave.  Admittedly, I was a little disappointed that neither Lena nor I were going to be able to be at the birth, since we were across town (and at that point, it was looking like Mama E was very close to delivering).  But, it sounded like things were going well and that Mama E would soon be holding her newest baby, so we were happy about that.

Gus, showing off his popsicle stick puzzle

Lena and I spent the morning hanging out with the Notre Maison kids, and then around 1:30pm, we headed back over to the Heartline Guesthouse.  Notre Maison had lost electricity (therefore, no internet) shortly after breakfast, so it wasn't until we got back to the guesthouse and checked Facebook again that we realized that Mama E still had not delivered her baby; something was wrong.  I texted Beth and Heather to let them know we were back at the guesthouse in case they wanted Lena to come help; shortly afterward Heather posted this on her Facebook page:

Just watched a miracle. Cord was around baby's neck two times. This birth had to go just the way it did for this baby to be alive right now. We're all a bunch of crying weirdos. Thank you for praying for Mama E. God was here.

Lena and Maxo

Yet again, God's protection and guidance was so evident in this little one's birth.  Heather wrote about it here.   As with Esther and baby Judler last week, God provided exactly what was needed at exactly the right time.

A little while later, Lena and I walked over to the maternity center to meet little Raphael -- "God heals."  God heals.  I think we all teared up when we found out the meaning of his name.  As Beth said, "May he truly be that for her (Mama Eman)."  After all of the pain and loss she's suffered, may this baby be God's healing gift to her, to comfort her and to give her hope and joy again.

Tonight Lena and I are staying at the maternity center to continue checking on Mama E and the baby; so far, so good :)

11pm update: Please pray that the baby will breastfeed well within the next few hours.  He fed well around 5pm today but hasn't been too interested in eating since then.  We just spent about 30 minutes trying to get him to nurse but without much success.  We're hopeful he'll wake up more and be ready to eat again soon.  In the meantime, we'd appreciate prayers!  Thanks!

Wilson and Jameson, working on their puzzles.
Perhaps Wilson works better with his derriere in the air?

Jephte, with his masking tape headband

Raphael and Mama E
(photo stolen from Tara)

With Emmanuel and his new baby brother
(photo stolen from Beth)