spring break 2013

Well, here I am again...on the heading-back-to-Texas end of an incredible week (well, 9 days) in Haiti. Seems like it's gotten harder and harder for me to leave Haiti over the past several years, and this time is no exception. There's just something about that country...those people...that I love so dearly--crazy traffic, psycho roosters, and constant dust notwithstanding. Ayiti se yon bel peyi e se la mwen vle pou m ye.

However, rather than thinking about how terribly non-thrilled I am to be back in the States (and, especially, to be hanging out at the Fort Lauderdale airport for the night), how about a quick recap of some favorite moments from this past week:

* Spending time at Notre Maison. I love, love, love those kids, and it was so good to get to see them again (and yes, especially my Christina). I was able to make the taptap trek over to the orphanage on five different days while I was there, and it was great getting to spend time with the kids and see how well they're doing. There is some sad news, though -- Mickey, one of the older boys who grew up at the orphanage, passed away last Monday. He had been sick for awhile. I saw him the Saturday before he died, and I'm so thankful to have been able to spend time talking with him that day. He will be very missed. Prayers would be greatly appreciated for Gertrude and for the staff and kids at the orphanage.

* Dinner with Melissa and Guepson, my favorite newlyweds :) These two make me happy; they're super cute together. He's an OB, she's a nurse-midwife. He's Haitian, she's lived in Haiti for ten years. They're both great, and I'm so very, very thankful for Melissa--for many reasons, not the least of which is the role she played in convincing me that I should go to nursing school after all :) I've learned a lot from this girl, and I'm going to miss seeing her in Haiti now that she and Guepson are moving to the States. Guess I'll just have to make some trips to Kansas now!

* House[er, apartment]sitting for my friends Ryan and Melissa while they were in the States. Such a blessing to get to use their apartment while they were away! And, even better, they got back to Haiti a few days before I left, so I also still got to spend time with them :) Pray for them and their ministry at the Heartline Guesthouse!

3 day-old baby Tamar

* Spending time at Heartline is always amazing :) I didn't get to be at any births this time (the only Heartline birth that happened while I was in Haiti was a very quick one, and I was over at the orphanage at the time), but I did get to help out at two family planning days (gave lots of injections of Depo-Provera!), child development day, and prenatal day. I always feel so privileged to get to be even a teensy part of the amazing work they're doing at Heartline. So grateful for the impact they're making on the lives of women and children in Haiti.

* Trying out a Haitian restaurant with Nick, the current driver at the Heartline Guesthouse. The guesthouse was surprisingly guest-free most of the week, so one evening we decided to be a bit adventurous and taptap to a nearby restaurant that had been recommended by a few friends. I can't remember the last time I've been to a restaurant in Haiti besides Epi d'Or, so it was fun to try something new.

* Girls night with Melissa and Mandi! Melissa made some fabulous pizza, and it was fun to hang out with these two :)

* Dinner with the wonderful Meadows family! So great to spend time with these Texas-and-now-Haiti friends! Such a neat family, and I'm pretty sure they have the politest kids on this earth :)

* St. Patrick's Day party (on Friday) at John and Beth's house! When Beth cooks, you want to be there; among her many, many other talents, she is amazing at putting together incredible meals and for massive amounts of people. She is the epitome of graciousness and hospitality.

* Seeing the new Haitian Creations shop...and, of course, making some purchases :) Chandler and the ladies are doing such a great job coming up with some fabulous purses and jewelry and various other products (one of my new favorites is a passport holder, which I used today)! It's always a bit dangerous for my bank account when I go by Haitian Creations; so much great stuff, and for such an incredible cause. Yet another Heartline program that is truly changing lives.

* Home church with the Meadows and the Livesays this morning. I love and admire both of these families so much, and I'm so glad I was able to join them for this time of worship and reflection on God's faithfulness. It was such a special time of talking about how the Lord has been faithful to us in the past (and how we need to remember that we can trust that He will continue to be faithful!) and of praying together. I can't think of a better way to have spent my last morning in Haiti.

I know I'm forgetting a lot of other fabulous moments from the past nine days (I've been up for nearly 24 hours now; I barely remember how to spell my name), but suffice it to say, I really enjoyed my time in Haiti. And, of course, I'm already counting down to my next trip...48 days, if I can get the time off work!

A la pwochen, Ayiti. Mwen sonje w!

lessons from Christmas break

This post has been several weeks in the making, though this is the first time I've actually sat down and started  to write it. Most of these thoughts have primarily been just that - thoughts - up to this point, though I've had a few conversations with various friends that have touched on some of them. As I head into semester two of nursing school and leave behind the solace which has been Christmas break, I'm already finding myself in need of a reminder of some of the gifts the Lord has given me over the past month, so that I can focus on His goodness rather than on circumstances that all too quickly leave me frustrated and overwhelmed.

By the end of an incredibly hectic semester of adjusting to being a full-time nursing student while continuing to work full-time as well, I really was at the end of myself; I was a mess. Constant busyness, along with several less-than-ideal situations that occurred at both school and work, left me desperate to get to Christmas break and a change of pace. I felt like I was holding my breath as I charged toward the end of the semester, unable to come up for a breath of air until it was all over. I couldn't stop; I didn't have time. So. Much. To. Do. I was tense, I was easily irritated, and I was more stressed out than I even realized.

Mere hours after I finished my last final, Paul and I headed out for Haiti. Crazy, yes, to add the stress of preparing for international travel while finishing up the semester; nonetheless, I am immensely thankful that we left town as soon as it was over. Like I said, I was desperately in need of a change of pace, and God used my time in Haiti to give me that and more.

When we first arrived in Port au Prince, we were asked by several different people what we planned to do during our time in Haiti. Though we both had Haiti-related answers, such as spend time at Heartline and Notre Maison (me), work at Real Hope for Haiti (Paul), and donate blood (both of us), we also each stated that we wanted to rest; we needed to recover from the crazy few months we'd just come through. I am oh so thankful to be able to say that we were able to do all of these things.

There is much I could say about those wonderful two weeks I was able to spend in that country that I love so very much, but if I had to choose just one aspect of this trip to discuss, it would be that God was so incredibly faithful to meet me where I was at - exhausted, hurt, overwhelmed - and lovingly remind me that I can find rest in Him, that He is my strength, and that He loves me and does truly know what's best for me. Without meaning to, I had lost sight of these truths and had been fighting so hard against them; I was trying to prove myself and my ability to just work hard and push through and make things work out my way. (Right. Because that's always super effective.) To an extent, I suppose I succeeded -- but only on the surface. In my heart, I knew I was off base. I knew the things I was doing, the things I accomplished, the place where I allowed my mind to dwell, were more out of a desire to prove myself "worthy" and to fulfill my own plans rather than to see God glorified. I didn't admit that, not even to myself, but looking back, I can see that it's true.

That being said, I am completely confident that I was (and am) supposed to be in nursing school and to continue working at my current job. The Lord has made that so clear, and He has graciously worked in spite of me in both of these areas of my life. I am so thankful for the opportunity to be in school, preparing to (hopefully) one day soon be able to serve in Haiti full-time. And I am thankful for the amazing coworkers the Lord has placed in my life; He so often uses them to encourage and humble and challenge and teach me.

So here I am now, heading into my second semester of nursing school; the insanity is about to begin again. This time, though, I want it to be different. Yes, I want (and need) to work and study hard. But I don't want those things to be my primary focus. More than anything, I want to love the Lord, not just in words (which are easy to say) but in every detail of the way I live my life. So if that means working fewer hours or studying a little bit less in order to have more time to focus on my relationship with the Lord, so be it. I would greatly appreciate prayers, though, that I would have the courage to make this a reality. It's one thing to write these things in this moment when the lessons of the past few weeks are fresh on my mind; it's altogether another thing to actually follow through. I know myself too well to think for a second that without divine intervention, anything will change. I desperately need the Lord to continue working on my heart, drawing me to Him and enabling me to be obedient to His Word. Will you pray with me for that?

Maybe at some point I will actually give a recap of my time in Haiti and the wonderful people I was able to see and the fun things I was able to do; originally I thought that's where I was going with this post. However, I think I really needed to finally put in writing some of the thoughts that have been swirling around in my mind these past several weeks. Regardless of whether anyone ever reads this, my hope is that this post will serve as an impetus for me to make the aforementioned changes and not fall back into life as it was last semester. So here's to a new year, a new semester, and a renewed desire to love and serve the Lord.

Run for Life: the video

Yesterday, I wrote about the upcoming Run for Life, which starts in just four days. Again, I can't say enough about the cause this run is supporting; the compassionate and life-saving care that is given through the Heartline Maternity program is both inspiring and humbling to see. This video shows a glimpse into the passion that drives this program and the reason Barry is running for Life:

"This program is changing lives. This program is saving lives. This program is making a difference for life." (Beth McHoul)

Want to donate? Click here.

                                                                       

Run for Life

Barry McDonald will run across the nation of Haiti in January 2013, a distance of 315 miles covered in 12 days of running. The event is called Run for Life - Haiti.
Imagine running twelve marathons in a row. Imagine running in the third world. Running for no prize, no award, no fame, no earthly reason to run so hard except one. A painfully simple reason. Running is the best way Barry McDonald - a 35 year-old Australian - can help the tens of thousands of women in Haiti in need of better quality healthcare. Help women who bear children on dirt floors, in fields, and in dingy dark rooms.
He is running, as a fundraiser, to build a maternity and education facility at Heartline Haiti's compound.
(from the Run for Life website)

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In Haiti, so many women deal with issues such as malnutrition and high blood pressure, as well as the threat of diseases like malaria, dengue fever, and cholera -- all of which understandably increase the risk of complications during pregnancy, labor and delivery. Due to the lack of a good health care system (and difficulty in obtaining access to what is available), many Haitian women are left without the assurance of being able to receive good and timely medical care even in moments of desperate need. Most pregnant women have little choice but to give birth at home, and truly, unless there is a major medical need, giving birth at a Haitian hospital is not a preferable option. When you go to a hospital in Haiti, you have to provide everything: from your food and bedding to your medicine and even i.v. bags. Everything. As to emotional support and encouragement, it's nonexistent. Can you imagine? This is why what Heartline does, what Heartline provides, is so valuable. They treat their women with utmost dignity and respect. They walk with them each step of the way. They teach and train and encourage. They care for these ladies physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Lives are not only being changed, but they are saved because of this program. I truly cannot say enough about Heartline; if ever there was a cause to support, a ministry to come alongside and support, this is it.

Starting next week, Barry will be running 315 (315!!!) miles across Haiti to raise money to build a new maternity center for Heartline. The new maternity center will allow for the current program to be expanded to a second location, in order to be able to provide prenatal care, midwifery services, postpartum care, and education for even more women. Having spent time at Heartline, I have seen firsthand the quality of care given to each and every woman in the program and the passion to serve these women well: 

We care deeply about prenatal care and each woman's pregnancy and delivery.  We care even more about love.  We want our program and staff to client ratio to always allow us to get to know each woman fairly well by the time she is ready to deliver. We want each Thursday to be seen as an opportunity to invest time  in their lives, their stories, their pain and struggle. The very best and the very hardest part of the program is making time to truly hear from them and build relationships. (From this post by Tara Livesay)

Would you consider making a donation toward the new maternity center? Barry's goal is to raise $800,000 with this Run for Life. As part of the fundraising effort, many people from around the world are hosting events or running their own races. I, too, am joining in on this and will be running a half-marathon at the end of February, and I've created a fundraising page here. You also can donate from the link at the top right of this page. Thanks in advance for supporting Heartline and helping to make a difference in the lives of Haitian women and babies!

For more information on the importance of maternal health care, see this post.

catching up...

Oh hey, look; here I am again. Crazy that it's been nearly 8 months since I last posted. Even crazier, though, were those eight months... As a quick summary, from mid-May 2012 until now, I:

- Found out that I'd been accepted into the nursing program at a college here in town.
- Worked a lot. A whole lot. Good thing I love my job (well, most days).  :)

fun in the Smokies

- Traveled with Paul in July for a quick family reunion/camping trip in the Smoky Mountains.
- Attended the weddings of several former coworkers, one in June and the other in August (congrats, Brian & Emily and Jack & Anna). Fun fact: they all worked at Starbucks at one time or another.

Lina and Taylor

- Got to spend lots of time with my youngest sister, when she came to stay with me and Paul for a few weeks in July. We celebrated her 17th birthday while she was here (she has now had two birthdays in a row in Texas)!
- Received the sweetest birthday gift ever from my coworkers - a handmade card full of kind words, and money to go towards my next trip to Haiti.
- Said good-bye to free time ;) and started nursing school in August.

with Melissa at her wedding reception

- Studied. A lot. Most productive place I found to study? On the floor in the back room at Starbucks. Go figure.
- Made a quick trip to Kansas in October for Guepson and Melissa's wedding. Such a perfect, beautiful ceremony and reception, and it's always fun to see Haiti friends in the States :)
- Cooked many a crockpot meal at Starbucks. Besides this, I pretty much survived the semester on coffee and tortilla chips.
- Successfully completed my first semester of nursing school. 4 more to go...

loved, loved, loved being back in
Haiti and with these kids

- Traveled to Haiti with Paul and spent two gloriously wonderful weeks at Heartline and Notre Maison. More on this soon...
- Started running again for the first time in many months...and signed up for a half-marathon to help raise money to build a new maternity center for Heartline. Learn more about Run for Life Haiti here. More on this soon, too...

These past eight months have been busy and fun and challenging and stressful and exciting...pretty much the full gamut of adjectives/emotions. Through it all, the Lord has continually been teaching me about trusting Him, that His grace is (as the song says) greater than all my sin, and that I can work super hard and try my best until I'm absolutely exhausted...but if my focus isn't on Him, if I'm relying on my own strength to get things done, at the end of the day, I'm a mess. And being a mess is not fun. So here's to a new year, and to a renewed focus on the loving the Lord, celebrating His goodness, and living in a way that reflects His gospel message.

The gospel teaches us that instead of focusing on ourselves and our closely clinging sin, we've got to focus on, to consider, Jesus. We've got to look away from our sin, whether because it's alluring and drawing us toward it or because it's condemning and pushing us into ourselves and away from our Savior. We must patiently focus all our attention on him. We've got to think on, ponder, or consider, Jesus. Every aspect of the gospel is meant to encourage us in our war against sin. Of course, we should be aware enough of our sin that we seek to repent of it and are grateful for the cross, but that's not where our thoughts should settle.  Our thoughts should be steadfastly riveted on what Jesus has done.  (Elyse M. Fitzpatrick, Comforts from the Cross) 

photo update

Roseline

Agathe teaching on introducing solids

Mickey

Melissa and her newest namesake

Jude and Jean Daniel

my Christina

Lovely and her doll from Carly :)

Agathe and Beth welcoming new women
to the prenatal program

what I looked like after my first trek
through Clercine "lake"

the first few days

we're in Haiti! together!

I have a ridiculous problem when it comes to blogging about ongoing events/trips: I tend to start writing, go way too in-depth, get overwhelmed with how much [I think] is still left to write about, give up for awhile, try again the next day (by which time I'm even farther behind), give up again, try again (again), etc, etc.  Sometimes I manage to finish and get these posts up on the blog...sometimes not so much.  The latter appears to be the case for the post that I started writing on Friday...continued on Saturday and Sunday...looked at on Monday...and am giving up on today.  If anyone really cares about all the little details of our journey to Haiti, I'll email it to you.  But for everyone else (and so that I actually post something), how about a much shorter (yes, believe it or not, this is shorter), less detailed update:

thursday/friday

shortly after arriving in FLL

- Paul and I left CS around 3pm and arrived in Fort Lauderdale at 1am ET.  We "slept" (ha) for the next 4 hours on benches in a freezing cold baggage claim.  Shortly after 5am, we headed over to another terminal to re-check our bags for our flight to Haiti...only to be told that we were too late; check-in had closed for that flight.  Yes, we did indeed manage to miss a flight when we'd already been at the airport for multiple hours. Embarrassing, and rather disappointing, to say the least.  We were then put on stand-by for the next flight, which was at 1:45pm.  Fortunately, that was a pretty empty flight, so we didn't have any trouble getting seats.
- We landed in Haiti at 3:30 and actually had a very easy airport experience, for Port au Prince.  Immigration and customs were both easy, we found our bags quickly, and we didn't have much trouble with red caps wanting to "help".  And as soon as we got out of the airport and made it down the long walkway, we saw Asher (Heartline's current driver) waiting for us.  All in all, one of the most painless PAP airport experiences I've ever had.
- When we got to Heartline's guesthouse (run by the fantastic Ryan and Melissa), we discovered that we were the only guests for the night (for the next several nights, actually). We spent that evening at Ryan and Melissa's new apartment playing a hilarious game with several other Heartline-associated people, which was a lot of fun.

saturday

Petionville (this photo's for you, Everly!)

- Paul and I met up with our friend Jenny, who was kind enough to come into Port from Grand Goave so that we could see her.  We didn't really have any sort of plan for what we'd do once we met up, but after a bit of discussion we decided to taptap up toward Petionville and find somewhere for lunch.  We ended up at Muncheez and had just enough time to enjoy some pizza before heading back down to the place where Jenny was meeting up with another friend to go back out to Grand Goave.  Though we spent most of our time together in transit, it was fun to get to see Jenny again and catch up a bit.
- After we left Jenny with her friend, Paul and I decided to walk over to Notre Maison.  Normal people probably would have taptapped, but we walked.  It really wasn't that far, and it didn't really seem worth the hassle to take three different taptaps just to go a couple of miles.  Plus it was fairly overcast and relatively cool, so it wasn't bad.

with my Ti Nina

- We were able to spend about an hour at the orphanage before we needed to head back to the guesthouse.  It was so good to see the kids again!  I may or may not have held my Ti Nina the entire time (while visiting with the other kids, too, of course)!  It was kind of strange to be there for such a short time and then leave, but at least I knew I would be back.
- The most exciting adventure of the day occurred right before we got back to the guesthouse...  Clercine Road, which leads to the neighborhood where the guesthouse is, has some major flooding going on, especially right around the neighborhood entrance.  This means that getting in and out is rather difficult, as going through on foot is not ideal, and a lot of vehicles are too low to successfully make it through the "lake" (maybe "river" would be more accurate--it has a current, after all).  So I wasn't sure if we'd be able to get a ride into the neighborhood.  I ended up asking one of the motorcycle taptap drivers if he could take us in, and he said yes.  We hopped on, and off we drove toward the lake/river.  When we got to the edge of the worst part, he stopped, and I was sure he was going to say we had to get off and walk the rest of the way.  But after a minute, he kept going...right into and then through the murky/disgusting/don't-want-to-think-about-what's-in-there water.  It was pretty epic.  And it was also Paul's first time on a motorcycle.

a view of the Clercine lake/river from
the neighborhood entrance

sunday
- We started out the day by going to the first service at Port au Prince Fellowship.  Originally the plan was for Paul to leave from church to go to Cazale to work with Real Hope for Haiti for the week, but it ended up working better for them to pick him up from the guesthouse later in the afternoon.  After we got back from church, we pretty much spent the next few hours just sitting around reading, which was super strange but super nice after how hectic the past several months have been (especially for Paul).  As great as the concept of "rest" sounds, it can be surprisingly hard to actually put that into practice when given the opportunity!  I'm so used to always being busy or having things to do that just sitting still was a bit hard.  But it was definitely a gift to have that time where I literally had nothing I needed to do, so gradually I was able to enjoy and appreciate it :)
- Later that evening, Melissa came over, and she, Allison, and Asher taught me how to play Monopoly Deal, which may not won't likely end up on my list of favorite games, but it was fun nonetheless.  Maybe if I were more competitive...

to be continued with monday and tuesday...

Thanks to all of you who are praying!