"How was your trip?"

with Gabrielle at Notre Maison

So much for “the perks” of being back in the States…my power went out this morning (with a boom!), and I only had cold water for part of my shower (which was my fault; I forgot that I’d started the washing machine not too long before that).  Guess I never should have written the other day about my expectation that I’d have a warm shower and constant electricity today!  And then, the internet at my house was also acting wacky all day after the power came back on.  Go figure.  I just have to laugh; God has quite the sense of humor.  I said that I didn’t want to get so comfortable with my “normal routines and the ease of everyday life” that I’d forget about Haiti; well, there’s a pretty good reminder!  

Today was okay.  I'm remembering quite clearly now that coming back is always so much harder (for me, anyway) than going.  I'm so incredibly thankful that I didn't have to go back to work today; I've needed today to kind of ease back into things and to kind of process where I'm at emotionally/mentally.  Even though I've been to Haiti more times than I can count, and even though I had an amazing trip, there's still so much to think through...to pray through...to respond to...and honestly, there are only a select few people that I want to talk to right now.  Not because I love these people more or others less; it's just that today, I was not ready to respond to a bunch of people asking, "How was your trip?".  Not because it's a bad question, not because I don't have a ton to share.  But right now, today, I only feel up to talking through things with those who have been there.  Haiti is not a place that can be adequately described in words, photographs, or even videos.  Until you go and experience the sights and sounds and smells (seriously, the smells!), there's no way you can get it (which is totally okay).  It's just that today, I'm not up for trying to explain.  By tomorrow, I should be ready (or more ready--though, ready or not, here I come).  So ask the question.  I'll try to figure out if you want the one-word answer ("good") or if you want the extended version (if so, you'd better clear your schedule because I could probably talk for hours and hours if I got started).  Normally, I love when people want to know about Haiti, and I love talking about this place and these people that are so special to me.

So I guess, all that to say, please be patient with me over the next few days as I readjust to being back.  I don't want anyone to read this and think that you shouldn't ask about my trip; I just want you to understand that I might have a hard time answering (or maybe not, I really don't know).  It seems so silly; I mean, I was only gone two weeks, and it's not like I went somewhere new or had a horrible experience or anything.  Still, life-changing "stuff" occurred on this trip, and whether I like it or not, I can't just jump back into life here as if nothing happened.  And I don't want to.  The last thing in the world I want is to get so caught up again in "my United States life" that I let Haiti get pushed to the back of my mind.  I want...I need to take what I've seen and done and learned these past few weeks and allow God to use these experiences to direct my future steps.  None of this "out of sight, out of mind" junk.  Can't let that happen.  This trip to Haiti may be over, but the journey is far from over (again, I promise there really will be a future post with more details, hopefully soon).  Anyway, bear with me.  And pray for me; I would so appreciate it!

P.S. I've posted the first half of my Haiti pictures here, if anyone is interested.